revisiting optimism

sunlight dripping from concrete

bridges, the freeway traversed

time and again

in youth hunkers

over me, speeding towards

the same places discovered

at seventeen, back when the city

was the city and the city was brandished

with a chaotic magic glow

red lights lining locally,

red lights spilling greasy

meals in unfamiliar delight.

starkly, my car made brilliant

the motion i sought, gold

sun cresting the prairie

the mesas the scrub

oak, gold soaking sun

on a friday feeling

extraordinary in my mother’s

sunglasses, my sister

and i.

my sister and i leaving

school, readying for the next

great adventure, maybe

tonight i would head to the city

again, and today i mock

the grandeur it brought

pretending it feels

the same.